I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
