i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
