I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Randomize
