so let's talk penis.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
