Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
