I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
