It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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