Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
