True but thats because hes a fetus.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
