you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
