All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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