never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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