I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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