You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
