im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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