you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
