So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
is it fun? or sober?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
