And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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