so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
