He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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