Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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