They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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