Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
