The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
