It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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