Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
