aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
