I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You took a bar mat shot.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
