Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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