your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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