It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
