i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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