What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
