all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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