Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
