another moral hangover. fuck.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
