he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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