I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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