the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This is my gift to your gina
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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