Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You are a genius and a whore.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
