how can u be prego again
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
