Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
