apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
MIDGETS
????
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
