you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
