What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
