He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
