I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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