what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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