My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
