Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
