we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
