Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
