No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
