It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Couch. On fire.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
